


Of Men and Refrigerators

by out_there



Category: Sports Night
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-13
Updated: 2005-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-15 12:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/161006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/out_there/pseuds/out_there
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Casey try to move Natalie's fridge.  They're less than successful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Men and Refrigerators

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://phoebesmum.livejournal.com/profile)[**phoebesmum**](http://phoebesmum.livejournal.com/) for proofreading and [](http://celli.livejournal.com/profile)[**celli**](http://celli.livejournal.com/) for laughing in the right places.

Dan stood against Natalie's kitchen counter and sized up his enemy. Six foot two inches tall, wider than Dan, and all solid weight. Sighing, he turned to Casey. "And we have to move her fridge where?"

Casey frowned at the fridge and crinkled his nose like Samantha from _Bewitched_. "Downstairs."

"Downstairs?"

"Natalie said downstairs." If Casey had any _Bewitched_ -like powers, they certainly weren't working at the moment.

"I know this is an obvious question," Dan said, walking around the side of the fridge, "but why are we doing this?"

"Natalie asked us."

"To move her fridge downstairs?"

Casey nodded. "Yes."

"And we agreed because…"

"We're idiots?"

"That is a possibility," Dan acknowledged, tilting the fridge to see how heavy it was. If possible, it was heavier than it looked, which was saying something for a fridge that looked older than he was. "A distinct possibility. But even we're not this stupid."

Casey snorted. "No. But we're also not stupid enough to say no to a woman who controls our supply of pants."

"She holds our pants in the palm of her hand," Dan said and Casey gave him a strange look. "Figuratively speaking."

Casey rolled his eyes. "Just unplug the fridge and let's get it downstairs."

Bending down, Dan pulled the plug from the wall. "I want you to know I'm doing this under protest," he said as he tried to wind the cord around the back of the fridge. It stayed there for a moment, and then fell down and clattered on the kitchen tiles. Dan picked it up again, this time just holding it in his hand.

"Protest against what?"

"A man's pants should be sacred." Dan pulled his side of the fridge away from the wall, and Casey started to pull the other. "They shouldn't be used as threats or bribery."

"Maybe you should start a petition."

"You think?" Dan asked, as they pulled and pushed the fridge into the centre of the room.

"Not really, no." Casey stopped pulling, staring at the dirty square of floor where the fridge had been. "You know, my mom's kitchen floor is a _lot_ cleaner than that."

Dan stared down at the grayed tiles. "I'm glad to hear that." Near the back, there was a six inch fuzzy green mark. "I don't even want to know what that is."

"I'm hoping water and dust."

Dan pointed at the mess. "It's _green_."

"I choose to believe it is water and dust," Casey said firmly, then he turned his attention to the fridge. "Now, how are we going to get this downstairs?"

Dan felt himself start to scowl. "Natalie has an elevator, right?"

Casey grimaced. "We're on the second floor, Danny. It's a walk-up."

Dan looked at the fridge and then thought about Natalie's stairs. "You know what this is?"

"What?"

"This is proof that we really are this stupid."

Casey laughed. "At least we'll wear pants."

"That's a small consolation."

Shaking his head quickly, Casey looked at the distance between the kitchen and the front door. "We just have to move it across the living room and then carry it down the stairs, right?"

"Yeah." Dan nodded, looking at the path that Natalie had cleared through her living room. "Should be simple."

"So we just push it together?"

"On three."

Casey nodded and took a good grip on his side of the fridge. "One, two..."

"Three," Dan finished, pushing the monster fridge across the tiling. It slid across a couple of feet, making a screeching, scraping sound as it went.

"Oh, Natalie's not going to like that," Casey said with a grimace, pointing at the dark lines etched into the tiles.

"At least we didn't break any tiles," Dan tried hopefully.

Casey glared at him flatly. "Don't jinx us."

"Let's try that again. But gently." Dan wrapped a hand around the back of the fridge, nodding at Casey. "Ready?"

"Go," Casey said, and they pushed it, very carefully this time, a few more feet. It still made an uncomfortable screeching sound, but the marks were light enough that Natalie wouldn't notice them. Probably.

They were nearly at the carpet, which was halfway to the front door. "One more time?" Dan asked, and Casey nodded.

They both pushed it, managing to get it a couple more feet before it got stuck.

"It's stuck," Casey pointed out helpfully.

"I noticed."

"Push harder?" Casey suggested with a shrug.

Dan shrugged back, wiping his hands on his jeans. "I guess so." He stood back, glaring at the fridge. "Maybe I should push from the back and you pull from the front?"

"Sure," Casey said, walking around the front. "On one, two, three."

Dan pushed the back of the fridge but it didn't budge. At all. "Let me try again," he ground out, just a little short of breath. This time, he put all his weight behind it and really _shoved_. The top started to move, so he pushed harder.

Then he heard Casey's less than manly squawk. "Danny!"

"What?" Dan asked as he let go of the fridge. Oddly enough, the top of the fridge wobbled, but stayed forward. Suddenly, he saw what was wrong. The top of the fridge had moved, but the bottom was still stuck, meaning it was currently trying to squash Casey.

Dan quickly pulled the fridge back down on his side. "I thought it was moving," he said when the fridge was upright again.

Casey glared at him. "It was. It was trying to move on top of me."

"It's a menace."

"You're a menace," Casey replied, standing well away from both the fridge and Dan.

Dan spread his hands in apology. "Do you want me to go at the front?"

"Yes." Casey rolled up the sleeves of his Henley shirt and walked behind the fridge. "Maybe we're doing this wrong."

"You think?"

"I'm just saying, maybe we're pushing it too hard."

"You think pushing it less will make it move?" Dan asked sarcastically.

"I don't think we should push it forward," Casey said slowly. "Maybe we should tilt it from side to side."

"And walk it over whatever's got it stuck?" Dan said, making a seesaw motion with his hands. "That could work better."

"That's what I'm saying."

"Okay," Dan said. "Push the right side forward and I'll pull it."

Casey blinked at him. "Your right or my right?"

"The side closest to the wall." Dan took a good grip on that side and started to pull. Then Casey pushed, and the fridge shuddered forward a foot.

"Now the other side," Casey said, and then they got that side to move too.

"Huh. You were right."

Casey pushed at the wall-side again. "Don't talk. Just keep doing this."

"I can talk and---" Dan stopped as he realized he was pulling at the wrong side. "Okay, I can't."

They worked out an odd rhythm between the two of them, pushing one side then the other. Then, they discovered that if they tilted it as they pushed, it was a lot easier to move. It was an easy rhythm -- left, right, left, right; tilt, push, tilt, push -- and it wasn't until they were halfway across the living room carpet that Dan noticed the rattling.

"Hey, stop," he called out to Casey.

"What is it?" Casey stuck his head around the side of the fridge, then wiped his forehead with the back of his arm. It was gratifying to know that Casey was sweating as much as Dan himself was. Appliance moving was hard work.

"I thought I heard something rattle," Dan said slowly, but he couldn't hear it now. "From the fridge."

"Nothing looks loose back here. Maybe it's the little guard thing at the front."

Dan blinked. "What little guard thing?"

"The shiny silver thing? Along the bottom of the fridge?"

"Oh, that little guard thing." Dan looked down, and toed the little guard thing with his sneaker. "It seems firmly stuck on."

"Not rattling?"

"Nope."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know."

Casey's lips pressed into a straight line as he tried not to laugh. "Maybe you were hearing things."

Dan shook his head in defeat. "Okay, fine. Let's get this finished." They started pushing and tilting again, then Dan heard the same rattle. "Stop."

Casey stopped. "Why?"

"It's rattling again."

Casey walked around to the front of the fridge. He stared at the closed doors for a moment. "Maybe the tape's come loose."

"The tape?"

Casey gestured with his hands, looking like he was trying to make fairy floss. "The tape. You know. The tape you used to tape up all the shelves and drawers after you clean them."

"Oh, I didn't check for tape."

Casey gave him a long look. "You didn't check?"

"Nope."

"I thought you checked."

"I didn't."

"So it might not be taped up at all?" Casey asked suspiciously.

Dan had a bad feeling about this. "Natalie would, though. She said it was ready to be moved, didn't she?"

"Yeah."

"So she would have taped it?"

"Yeah."

"But neither of us checked?"

Casey glanced at the fridge, looking distinctly uneasy. "Yeah."

"We should check now, shouldn't we?" Dan asked, watching Casey closely.

"I really think we should," Casey replied, opening the fridge door. What they saw inside was enough to strike fear into the hearts of men. Especially the hearts of men who worked with Natalie, and depended on her for their pants.

There was mess against both sides of the fridge, and a stack of food against the shelves. Well, not a stack, Dan amended. It was more of a hastily thrown together pile. "We're dead men."

Casey nodded, and pointed at the top shelf. "There's something dripping."

Following the line of Casey's finger, Dan watched some slow amber liquid drip down to the metal shelves below. "It could be maple syrup."

"We are so dead."

"But..." Dan sighed, looking at the mess. "But didn't Natalie say it was ready to be moved?"

"She gave me the key, she told us to come over this morning and move the fridge." Casey seemed hypnotized by the dripping liquid. "She said it would be ready."

"But you didn't check?"

"I thought you had."

Dan glared at him. "You know this is going to be our fault, right?"

"That goes without saying," Casey said morbidly.

"So dead."

Casey closed the fridge and stood there with his arms crossed. "We're going to need to appease her."

"By pointing out that we messed up her fridge and scraped her kitchen floor?" Casey shot him a sideways glare and Dan swallowed. "Okay, that's not helping."

"It's the opposite of helping."

Dan sighed. "Okay, how about we help her move?"

"We're supposed to be doing that," Casey replied evenly. "We moved it downstairs, and her neighbor offered to drive it over to the new place. That was the plan."

"That was a bad plan."

"I think so."

Dan hung his head, letting his chin rest against his chest. "Is there any other way we could help her move?"

"I don't think we're too capable of that, no."

Dan sighed, imagining the upcoming weeks of hosting the show in his underwear. If they were lucky. "Why didn't she just pay for movers, like any other sane person?"

Casey flopped onto her couch. "Couldn't afford them."

"This really--" Dan stopped, thought about Casey's comment, and then looked at Casey. Casey grinned and nodded. "But we could, right?"

"Easily."

Dan grinned. "So that's how we appease her."

"We offer to pay for her move," Casey said, with a certain amount of manic glee, "professional movers and everything. Any expense, we pay for it."

"And she'll be grateful."

"And she won't try to skin us alive."

Casey nodded. Then his face fell. "But what do we do about the fridge?"

"We plead with her. Tell her we weren't strong or manly enough to move it, so we'll pay professionals."

"Do we have to move it back?" Casey asked warily.

Dan looked across at the hulking white monster. "It's probably best for all concerned if we just leave now and call Natalie from the office."

Casey nodded. "We need to remember this the next time she moves."

"The next time she moves," Dan replied, "we both need to take international vacations."


End file.
